I love this weight loss / healthy living blog community that we all live in. The support I’ve received since starting WMBS has been incredible…you all just get it, and I know I can count on you for advice, support or sometimes a good, swift kick in the butt.
However, one of the downfalls to reading so many blogs is what I call “loser envy“. Specifically, it’s that little pang of jealousy and disappointment I feel when I read about someone who is losing weight fast and consistently.
Because that is so not me.
If you’ve been here since the beginning, you know I’ve hit my own little “bumps” in the road. If you’re a new reader, you can catch up here and here. In between, I’ve done pretty well, but those setbacks were extended and major, and resulted in weeks of not losing anything.
As I wrote my 6 month milestone post, I thought about my rate of weight loss, and how originally I wanted to be 50 pounds down at this point in my journey. And I know I’m not alone – I’ve read numerous posts from other bloggers about their disappointment in their own rates of weight loss.
I wonder if this is “Biggest Loser Syndrome”…are we all just looking to lose massive amounts of weight each week like they do on TV?
I don’t think this is the case for me. I’m quite happy with my 2 pound losses. I just wish they happened every week from April 30th until now. BUT – that’s not to say I’m not happy with what I’ve actually lost. 30+ pounds is nothing to sneeze at, people.
I think I just need to remind myself that everyone is different. Everyone gains weight and loses weight for different reasons, in different ways, and at different rates. Not everyone has had the stresses in my life that I’ve had. Some people have had it worse, some better. And some people don’t deal with stress the same way I do (*cough* binge eating *cough*).
We are each unique and just as we all must customize our eating and lifestyles, we must also accept that how we lose weight is going to be different.
So if you’re losing 1/2 or 1 pound per week, or per month, don’t be hard on yourself. If you are eating well and moving more, you will lose your weight. Every pound down is a step in the right direction!
I think I needed to hear that. I've been on a 'plateau' for three months now. Me and the same three pounds are getting to be far too familiar. I took a week off the exercise and diet (I couldn't help myself though, I still counted calories and exercised 4 times)to get over being ill, and at least I largely held my own. Its back to daily walks/the dreadmill and carefully calculated food portions now that I'm better. One day this fat will be gone, but for now I'm trying to be content with the slow and steady thing.
Chin up
Barb
I can definitely understand how you feel! It's taken me 2+ years to lose 70 lbs. and I'm still flirting with those last 10 and not at my goal. But, one thing I have learned is that the longer it takes to lose the weight, the more the HABITS become ingrained. It goes from being a "diet" to being a "lifestyle". And that's our end goal, isn't it? We want to lose this weight AND keep it OFF!
You're right, 30 lbs is nothing to sneeze at! It's a great accomplishment and you will get to where you want to be! Slow and steady wins the race ;)
I took forever to lose weight as well, I was such a slow loser…some weeks only a few 100 grams, other weeks stayed the same…then a small loss and so it went…thankfully I never belonged to a losing community at that time so didn't have those emotions,it was only ME…now to keep me motivated and on the right road I've joined this community to help me for the future…
I think you losing lots…but suppose when its you – it feels differently.
My last few kg's seemed to fall off and now the last 2 wont budge!!
Weight Loss Envy. Exactly what I have right now.
I used to be one of those people that can lose nearly a pound a day without even trying that hard. Now, I'm definitely not. I'm going to keep this blog in mind next time I get down about it.
Thanks!
Great post. I had been battling staying motivated because of the slow pace (14 lbs down)…I like what was written by Marisa of "Trim the Fat." She wrote "the longer it takes to lose the weight, the more the HABITS become ingrained." That's exactle what I want. No fads, gimmicks, quick loss or pills: I want, even crave the real deal! Permanent weight loss done right.
I was wondering for a while whether somebody on a blogroll comes up with the topic or not. I did have a clear vision about my weight loss journey too and the deadline I set for myself is in a month. However, I didn't calculate with stress, and other external/personal factors which could sabotage the whole process. I'm trying to look the bright side and the slow process I make is perfectly okay. I'm getting closer and closer to my goal instead of getting farther or doing nothing at all reaching it. But last week I convinced a friend of mine to come running with me. She has weight issues too, I was bored doing everything alone. Now I feel bad, what if she becomes more successful that I am? I mean I would be happy for her successs of course, it's just the constant competition athmosphere we live in nowadays, like biggest loser. (seriously, I have no idea how can people lose so much weight in that show every week!)
Anyway, I think you're doing great. Learning to be patient is another advantage of healthy lifestyle, especially on the long run.
Jenn, I am a new follower of your blog, and I'm impressed. You talk the real talk and walk the real walk. I included your blog on my blog roll list so all of my readers can benefit from your blog, and offer you support as well.
Continued good luck now!
Sincerely,
Secretia (Secret Story Time)
Great post. I think everybody goes through that, at least a little bit. I know I do. I look at the people who have lost 100 pounds and think geez if they did that why cant I hurry up and loose 30 lbs. It just isnt the same for everyone. And we all have different goals and different ways of attcking the same problem. You are doing great, just keep it up chica.
Interesting post to find after I was just looking at a blog with 3-4lb losses every week. I was sitting there going grumble grumble I am seeming to be just about 2 lbs a week. But then I tell myself that they are working out every day and I am not. Good points!
I thought it was just me. While I'm so happy for those who have accomplished their goals – and some who have even quit blogging because of it – it makes me look at my own glacial "progress" and want to kick it – or eat a Twinkee. And I wonder why I'm not still losing…..
OMG! I just got done writing about this too. What prompted me is all the blogs where people seem to be melting away. Not without a lot of hard work (more exercise, more calorie restriction) but I couldn't keep that up for the long haul. In real life, I can see a future of moderate eating, an occasional splurge and moderate exercise (brisk 30 minute walk 3 x a week). I think I could do that for the rest of my life. As I wrote this morning, summer will roll around whether I'm in size 10 city shorts with a shirt tucked in or in 1X pull-on shorts with an elastic waist and a big over blouse.
Ohhh girl, you KNOW I KNOW about the loser envy. I totally, totally have in – and in fact have at a few points, avoided reading blogs so I didn't rub my face in it. HOwever, I know I gotta keep reading, to push me forward, to push me through so I can be one of you guys who keep going. I see you as 'one of those', just-so-ya-know!
I, too, have been sitting at the 30 down mark for quite a while and it just doesnt feel like enough – but we ALL know, years and years have passed where we've done nothing and I could completely be still over 300 lbs or steadily gaining more.
I have weight-loss-envy, but I gotta keep at it and prove to myself and hopefully others that it's a process and it may be slow going, but it's still GOING!
I know, but dang, it is hard to get really excited over 1 pound a week (me) & not get a little green eyed over those shedding 2-4lbs a week.
{sigh, pity party over}
It may take a little longer than we'd like but it really does all add up. Those 31 pounds are gone for good Jenn! :)
Best wishes,
Lynn
I love watching biggest loser, but their weight loss is not healthy in my mind. My goal each week is to lose 2 pounds. I think that is healthy and realistic. Even 4 pounds loss in a week would have me worried I was doing too much too fast.
Just look how those 2 pound losses each week add up!!
You are doing great girl!! Keep going :)
I have to go w/what Marisa says on this one, bc that is where *I* am. Slow & steady, and def becoming a lifestyle bc I have been working at this 'so long' compared to everyone else. BUT, I try to encourage myself by saying that at least I have kept if OFF, maintained the loss for this long. Kwim? And at least I started when I did…gets me there 'sooner'. Although a lot of you bloggers have a big loss to show by this (my) point. So, for ME, it is at least I am still at it, and haven't put my comparitively 'meager' loss back on.
I like how real you are. Your blog is most encouraging to all of us, and obviously helpful to YOU, so even if your #'s aren't like the ones on TBL every week…keep it up!
Reading all the great blogs actually inspires me more than it creates WL envy, but of course deep down, I do think about it. Chrissy
I really needed to read this today. :) This week was a great week — I'm finally coming out of a two month blech. It was so hard seeing such great losses from other bloggers and wondering what happened to me. (Even though I knew part of my problem.)
I'm OK with a 1-2 pound weight loss each week. I'm usually consistent with that and I'm happy but it does get frustrating when you see people pulling 4+ a week. I just have to remind myself that when I see those 4+ all the time it's probably not the same person each week — even if it seems like it. (And, some people are just built that way.)
That's some good stuff, Jenn. I get frustrated because I started this leg of my journey back in January and all told I'm a whopping 7 pounds down from my starting weight. That makes me crazy.
But since January I've also quit smoking. And I've gotten married. And I've made it through H1N1 and now a bear of an upper-respiratory infection… so all things considered? At least the scale is moving in the right direction.
SLOWLY… but overall, it's headed down.
I would like see my goal weight before I turn 40, though… 21 weeks remaining, 23 pounds to lose. We shall see.
I know just what you mean. I have had a good range of losses for quite a while, but still there's always someone who's losing more and faster. As others mentioned, I want to be happy for everyone who's losing…but I also want to be the Queen of Weight Loss, damn it! :-)
I totally know all about the "biggest loser syndrome". I love watching the show, but I keep thinking I can lose 20 pounds in two weeks! So, I set myself up by eating what I want because I can lose it in no time- and then I end up going now where except an increase in the weight scale. Very frustrating.
Amen to the whole post, Jenn. :D Slow and steady is better than sitting down and giving up.
Thank you so much for writing this! You explain my thoughts exactly. I, too, have had so many set backs on this journey and am currently in one of those states where I'm not losing any weight. I'm feeling ashamed and guilty for not losing any weight. Mostly, disappointed in myself. Your post makes me feel not so alone in this struggle!
I do have loser envy, and every day I have to remind myself that I may not be losing as fast as them, but I am prettier and smarter than they are.
I kid, I kid.
kind of.
This so needed to be said! Thank you! You do read about all the losses and success and sometimes you may begin to think.. what about me? why I'm not losing as fast? but it's like you said, this is a journey and there has been plenty of ups and downs. We need to realize that every time that little envy devil pops up in our mind, lol. Great Post! Thanks!
It's so hard not to get loser envy! As a slow loser I try not to focus on the weight loss. I focus on making good choices. What a great post! Thanks!
jenn, it may sound trite but slow and steady is soooo much better. watched a friend of mine lose 3-5 (yes) pounds a weeks while i lost .2 on her way to a 70 pound weight loss in 7 months.
well, you may have already guessed the moral of the story. 2 years later…i'm sort of the same (for better or worse) while she is up more than the 70 she lost.